Aum Aparajitaya Nama

  "How strong is strong enough?" is the question I keep asking myself (and Google).  The answers I find are varied but the general consensus seems to be that the more fit a person is the more a person will enjoy the climb. Those who are not well conditioned will suffer utter misery and become deadweight for the entire team.  These are both good motivation for me. I am no masochist who wishes to painfully trudge and fall tragically short of the goal... or fall tragically a long long way down from said goal..  But I also refuse to be the deadweight on that line! A team is tethered and can only move as fast as its slowest person.  I need to hold my own and not hinder the rest.  I'll forgive myself if I do end up being the slowest on the rope but I will do so in knowing that I am demonstrating my most valiant effort.

The 3 areas of conditioning most referenced are:
1. Endurance. 8 to 12 hours at a time of climbing at altitude
2. Strength. The pack will weigh 35-45lbs.
3. Mental. To push on forward in the face of pain & fatigue.

People have much to say about the first 2. Whether it be Google or suggestions made in conversation, people have lots of ideas on how to achieve these fitness goals. (For the record, I welcome all helpful points of view and suggestions on this subject!)  While most all people acknowledge the 3rd, few have practical suggestions on how to achieve the mental discipline. I've heard "You just have to want it bad enough" or "just force yourself to keep pushing forward even through exhaustion and pain." Or as Dori would put it "Just keep swimming. Just keep Swimming." 

Each day I get my cardio. Each day I build my strength. But how does one "condition" the mind?  I began meditating with some regularity almost a year ago. Last summer, as I returned to the grid from my Vision Quest, the 1st voicemail to come through was an invite from the Sri Chinmoy Meditation Center in Ravenna.  Through their Center I learned many helpful techniques on how to bring myself center.  A major theme at Sri Chinmoy is Self-Transcendence, to raise oneself to its greatest potential. This theme is put into practice by a focus on athletic pursuits for the sole purpose of reaching one's personal best yet without any ego; to move beyond our own limits which is all the reward one needs.  It was under their influence that I began to give running a chance. Running and meditating became welcomed activities whereas I once considered both quite boring. (Disclaimer: Sri Chinmoy has rules by which followers must live their lives which wasn't for me in the long-term, though helpful short-term, but this lifestyle makes joining not for most)

One of the most helpful techniques they taught were mantras which are one-line songs that are repeated over and over. I find meditation mantras to have a vibratory effect on my body. There is one mantra that has served me very well. "Aum Aparajitaya Nama" which in Sanskrit means "God, I bow to the One who never accepts defeat." (I sang this a lot through my divorce process.) This mantra has held me in my own power. It burns a fire of fury and love to fight for victory over hardship with all possible determination. When I honor the One inside me who refuses to resign to defeat, I feel almost indignant that I ever considered quitting. No matter what, I am hell bent on surviving and coming out stronger by my own determination, whatever life throws me.

When I exercise, I visualize myself at the top of the mountain. I WANT it and I'll be damned if I'm the One who stops me from doing it. I can and will push on. I will not accept defeat. Aum Aparajitaya Nama will help lyft me to that summit.

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